It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
