I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
