my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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