i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
