My friends, they love my intelligence
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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