and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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