Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
