Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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