so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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