summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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