Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
