this beer tastes like vomit already
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
