I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
