Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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