the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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