...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How external is "for external use only"?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
