you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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