Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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