Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
