Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
