When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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