I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
