his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
