none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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