the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
