i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The best revenge is premature balding
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
