Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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