My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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