Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
