sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
