can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
