My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
