no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
