i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
