threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
