I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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