i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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