I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize