Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
