Your face is a jimmy john
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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