yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She bit a glass in half.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
