My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
