What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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