How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
