Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
