I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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