I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
