You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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