Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im holly from the hills drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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