My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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