Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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