I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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