I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
