those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
