O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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