i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
