woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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